No One Told Her Patience Is A Virtue, I Guess

The phone rings at the theatre.

It's a woman, says she's calling from her cell phone. She wants the 800 number for Blue Man, which is, as it happens, 800 BLUE MAN. We're a clever bunch. She explains that she doesn't want to have to pay for the call to order tickets. It crosses my mind that, from a cell phone, she may not pay for the call, but she'll pay for the minutes. I decide not to mention that.

She calls back. She wants the numbers. Numbers, I ask? Numbers, she says. So that she doesn't have to look for them on her phone. The numbers that are used to spell BLUE MAN. It crosses my mind that she will have to look at the keypad when she is dialing, and, as the letters are conveniently arranged in alphabetical order, would it truly be that difficult to look at the letters? I decide not to mention that.

She calls back. This time, someone else in the box office got the pleasure of her call. She called the 800 number but does not wish to wait through that lengthy list of four cities for which one can buy Blue Man tickets. She would like to know which number to press for Chicago. We do not know. Since we who work in the box office live in Chicago, and know the direct phone number to the theater, we generally don't call the 800 number.

She calls back. And again, someone else gets the pleasure of her call. They also get the pleasure of spending 25 minutes on the phone with her. She is pleased to relate that her family gives her projects like this, ordering 9 tickets to Blue Man Group, because she is so good at such projects. The staff member she spoke with thinks it more likely that her family gives her such projects because it keeps her out of their hair.