It's So Big

At the theater, Saturday, 29 July.

Selling tickets to woman on phone. Our conversation up to this point had quickly revealed that this young lady was not a clever lass.

Says I: "And the credit card number, please."

Says she: "............................um............................is that the big one?"

Seen On The Street

Chicago and Milwaukee, around 7 in the morning.

A man, walking down the street.

With a 12-pack of Budweiser.

Balanced on his head.

Look, Up In The Corner!

Yes, check out that lovely photo of me. It was taken at Wizard World, the big comic book con held each year out in Rosemont, many years ago.

Courtesy of a friend of mine, who made superhero costumes not only as a hobby, but for DC Comics and Alex Ross, among other clients, I am dressed as Tempest. (I had to wear a dance belt in that get-up. Never again.)

Anyway, the creator of Tempest*, an openly gay artist working for DC, was at the convention, and my friend made sure we stopped by the DC booth. He introduced us and the artist politely complimented me on what fun it was to see his creation come to life.

Fast forward to the next day. There I am, dressed in normal clothes, standing in the men's room... well, doing what one does when one is standing in the men's room. When all of a sudden there's a voice over my left shoulder: "You looked really hot yesterday in the costume."

I turned my head. It was all I could turn. I was busy.

Yes. It was the artist.

It was an awkward moment. I couldn't really turn to face him, but I felt I had to respond. Two things occured to at almost the same moment: artist would not approach someone who looked really hot dressed as his creation in the bathroom unless he wanted a little somethin'-somethin', if you know what I mean. And artist didn't seem to have much common sense. If you're gonna approach someone in the men's room, wait until their hands are free.

(This reminds me of another awkward moment involving gay men. Many, many years ago, back in Grand Rapids, I was at the cast party for Blood Brothers, starring a perennial favorite of mine, Petula Clark. I was busily cruising an attractive young chorus boy, we were engaged in witty conversation, when all of a sudden he says, "Oh, I want you to meet somone." He grabbed me by the elbow and spun me around, and there was Petula Clark. Understand this: I LOVE Petula Clark. "Petula," he says, "this is one of our presenters." Pet looks me up. Pet looks me down. Pet says: "Where's dessert." Not even a question. Pet wanted dessert. "Um," I cleverly responded, "I think they're bringing it out now." Not only did I blow the one chance in my life to impress Petula Clark with my wit and charm, I didn't get the chorus boy either.)

*Fellow comic geeks: Yes, I know Tempest was a revamp of Aqualad. I didn't want to confuse the non-fans.

There Must Be An Easier Way To Say Excuse Me

A (very) north side bar, shortly after midnight. Waiting for the crowd to move a bit so that I could get through.

There's a tap on my right cheek. You know, down there. I ignore the tap.

Then there's another, and then one more. Partly to see who it is who's a-tapping on my ass, and partly to prevent them from doing it again, I turn around.

The fellow behind me very carefully, with two fingers of his right hand, touched his forehead. His abdomen. His left shoulder. And his right shoulder.

And then he nodded, and walked away and out of the bar.

My First Week On The Job

I have completed my first week of working for Ticketmaster. I have learned many things.

I have learned how to reclass seats to conform venue capacity to a show's requested onsale.

I have learned that it's vital that one's listop and secpoc match.

I have learned to linka.

And I have learned that, as a Ticketmaster employee, I am not allowed to buy tickets from Ticketmaster*....


(*Sure, I can order tickets through the executive secretary, but that doesn't mean I'll get tickets. If I buy tickets online or by phone, well, it seems Ticketmaster runs all orders against their employee database. Matches get no tickets.)

Gay Men Shopping

Jewel, at Broadway and Berwyn, 12 July, about 10 in the evening. At that hour, Jewel has locked one set of the entrance doors.

Two overly gay men approach the locked doors. They try to enter. The doors do not open. They push on the doors. The doors are locked. They attempt to enter through the exit. One of the fellows reads the sign: "Do not enter."

They come to the next set of exit doors. Same fellow reads the sign: "Do not enter."

The other fellow speaks up. "They are NOT making this very convenient!"

Sign reader responds. "Well..... this isn't a convenience store!"

I Thought He Was Talking To Me

My aunt's kitchen. The third of July. My friend Mark and I are standing at the counter. My uncle looks in our direction and says, "So, what're you doing for the Fourth, Sissy?"

As my uncle had never before been overtly homophobic, I was taken aback and left at a loss for words.

My aunt... his sister.... spoke up from where she was standing, right behind me: "We're just going to the parade is all."

One Man, One Vote

Seen at the Fourth of July parade in Whitehall, Michigan.

A pick-up truck in the parade, with a sign on each side announcing that the float carried the Whitehall City Council.

With one man riding in the truck.

Waiting at the Uptown Post Office

Which was, as always, a lengthy wait. I am certain that the training at the Uptown branch includes a day on delay, as Uptown has by far the slowest-moving employees around.

A young man and woman approached the window with a paper shopping bag of items to mail. Once the bag was emptied, the woman carefully placed the bag over her head, and stood there silently for a few moments.